Islam

Different eras and divergent groups may debate the best way to raise children. But Muslims can look to the sunnah for the example the Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) left us, both as a parent and a moral mentor. Those who were children around the Messenger (PBUH), report playing with him, laughing with him, and receiving his spiritual guidance. It is little wonder, then, that they became when they matured, perhaps, the greatest collective force dedicated to the transmission of his teachings.

They entered his home, and found in it not only a sanctuary, but a spiritual school.

Many children were raised in his household: His own children and grandchildren; members of his extended family, like Ali Ibn Abi Talib; those that served him, such as Anas and Zaid; others for whom he took responsibility for raising by marrying their widowed mothers, like the children of Umm Salamah; and the nephews of his wives, including Abdullah Ibn Zubayr, who spent large amounts of time in the house of his aunt ‘Aisha, and Abdullah ibn Abbas, who grew up under his shadows. All of them hastened to spend time in his company, spending their childhoods under the spiritual tutelage of the Prophet, thus becoming primary inheritors of his rich legacy. These children were the men and women who rose to prominence as moral and intellectual giants among succeeding generations.

Secrets of His Success

If we hope to understand how the Prophet  unlocked the human greatness in these children, we must try to cull the principles underlying his interaction with them, and apply them systematically as child raising strategies. At least 9 crucial characteristics emerge as patterns of prophetic qualities of parenting. By parenting, here, we mean all instructive or meaningful contact between significant adults and the children who come into their spheres, even for brief time.

HE FREELY EXPRESSED HIS LOVE

None in his household ever doubted his love for him or her, for he was quick to display his affection.

a. He expressed his love through nurturing and comfort. He consoled them himself, but was also moved by the crying of children in the presence of their parents. On hear ing his grandsons cry, he told his daughter, Fatimah to soothe them, for he had compassion for their distress. The orphaned children of his cousin Ja’far found comfort in the loving hands of the Prophet, who shared the pain of their loss, held them close, and took responsibility for their welfare.

b. He expressed his love through physical touch. His touch could be comforting, as it was when he held young infants or stroked the hair of the child on his lap. It could be playful, as it was when his grandchildren rode on his back. Even when Fatimah was an adult, he would rise to greet her and kiss her hands as an expression of his deep affection for her.

c. He gave them his focused attention and companionship. Whether they were young or older, he would be the first to greet, the most attentive of listeners, the last to remove his hand from the handshake, and the last to turn his back when the conversation had ended.

d. He expressed his love through verbal declarations. There were many, from Fatimah, to ‘Aisha, to his granddaughter Umamah who he called the “most beloved” of people to him. But words of love were not only limited to his own family, as we see from the following hadith from Mu’adh: One day the Prophet (PBUH) said to him: “Mu’adh, I love you! I am advising you to supplicate at the close of every salah (obligatory prayer): “O Allah! Aid me in Your remembrance, and Your due thanks, and what is most beautiful in Your worship.” (Abu Dawud)

e. He preceded a lesson in worship by first declaring his affections for his young followers: What a wonderful way of engaging a student!

f. He expressed his love through du’a-and the Prophet’s supplications were accepted! While carrying his grandson Hasan on his shoulders, he prayed for him: “O Allah! I love him. So love him.”

HE WAS PATIENT

From spills on the carpet, to broken vases, to forgetting to finish a chore, how often does our anger outstrip our remembrance that the child’s psychology and spiritual make-up come first? Does our response to the mistakes of these young ones square with what is likely just normal behavior for that age?

Anas ibn Malik began serving the Prophet when he was 8-years-old. Although happy to be in the company of the Messenger, play often got in the way of accomplishing the tasks asked of him. He says: The Messenger of Allah was the best of people in character. One day he sent me on an errand. I replied: “I will not go.” But then, my conscience told me to do as he instructed. But when I came out, I passed by a group of children playing in the street, and I joined them. Later, the Messenger came out and caught me from the back, and I looked at him and saw that he was laughing. He said: “Anas. Did you do as I asked you?” I replied: “I am going, O Messenger of Allah.” (Muslim)

No scolding, just a gentle reminder, and one that came with the Prophet’s laughter at that, for the Prophet understood what lure a good game could have over a young boy. And that Anas, after all, was just a boy.

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Freedom of belief is guaranteed in Islam. It should be very clear that Islam tolerates not only other faiths but even its enemies. This is stated clearly in the Holy Quran:

“God forbids you not with regard to those who fight you not for (your) faith, nor drive you out of your homes, from dealing kindly and justly with them, for God loves those who are just.” (60:8)

It is one function of Islamic law to protect the privileged status of minorities, and this is why non-Muslim places of worship have flourished all over the Islamic world. Islamic law also permits non-Muslim minorities to set up their own courts to implement family laws drawn up by the minorities themselves and to govern their own affairs.

Islam teaches that the closest to Allah and the most beloved of Allah are those who are the best in piety. Thus all people, male and female, and regardless of race, colour, nationality or ethnicity, are considered and treated as equal before Allah and before the law. This concept of tolerance did not reach the West even in theory until the 18th century, and in practice not until the 20th century.

Islam’s rapid spread continued even after the Prophet’s (Peace be upon him) death. Within a few decades, Islam spread to all of Mesopotamia and North Africa, and reached Spain in the west and India in the east.

Within 100 years, the Muslim empire spread over an immense area and firmly established itself. In this huge geographic area, many different religious denominations existed side by side. Most of them, however, were composed of Christians and Jews. The Muslims, as a general rule, were always very tolerant towards all religious groups in their lands, did not force people to embrace Islam, and respected every person’s freedom of conscience, for the Quran says:

There is no compulsion where religion is concerned. (Quran 2: 256)

Churches and synagogues were protected. At a time when enforced proselytisation was a common practice, such tolerance was unique.

One of the most extraordinary examples of this tolerance was the conquest of Jerusalem. The patriarch of the city’s Church of the Holy Sepulcher feared that his church would be destroyed by the Muslims. Thus, Caliph Umar visited the church and said that there was nothing to worry about. When the time for prayer came, he asked the patriarch for permission to leave so that he could pray nearby. The Al Aqsa mosque was built later on that very spot.

The Muslims gave Jerusalem one of the world’s most spectacular works of architecture - the Qubbat Al Sakhrah (Dome of the Rock), which was built on the rock, the place from where Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) ascended to the heavens. The stunning motifs and golden dome of this architectural masterpiece reflects Islam’s sense of art and civilisation.

During the Umayyad era, many Christians in Damascus (Sham) occupied important positions in the state bureaucracy and fulfilled their religious obligations as they wished. Some wrote even books that criticised Islam and Muslims without fear of retribution.

At the same time, Europe was governed by a dark fundamentalism and barbarism. The Catholic Church was oppressing the Jews and even Christians of other denominations. Forced proselytisation, as well as torture and murder in the name of religion, were common. On the other hand, Muslims have always treated the People of the Book (Jews and Christians) with tolerance and compassion, for Allah orders this in the Quran.

Throughout the history of Islam, its tolerance towards Jews and Christians continued. Jews fleeing the terror of the Spanish Inquisition found refuge and tolerance on Ottoman soil. The source and reason for such tolerance was the morality of the Quran, for Muslims are told:

Only argue with the People of the Book in the kindest way—except in the case of those of them who do wrong—saying: “We believe in what has been sent down to us and what was sent down to you. Our Allah and your Allah are one, and we submit to Him.”

(Al Ankabut, 46)

The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) upheld justice in his time and rejected the ignorant belief which considered some people superior to others because of their language, race, social status or ethnicity. That is because such discrimination is severely condemned in the Quran.

“Racism,” as defined in our day, is an idea Allah prohibits in the Quran, but which receives extensive support in ignorant societies. One of the divine purposes in the creation of the different races is “that they should come to know each other.” In the sight of Allah, all people are equal, and the only superiority anyone can have over anyone else is his fear of Allah and faith in Him.

The Prophet (PBUH) also declared to his people, who committed racism, that ethnic differences had no importance and that everyone was equal in the eyes of Allah. He repeatedly underlined that all that mattered was having sincere faith. While summoning his people to have faith, the Prophet commanded them not to discriminate in his last sermon:

O people! Your Allah is One and your forefather (Adam) is one. An Arab is not better than a non-Arab and a non-Arab is not better than an Arab, and a red (i.e. white tinged with red) person is not better than a black person and a black person is not better than a red person, except in piety. Indeed the noblest among you is the one who is deeply conscious of Allah.

The Prophet also told people that Allah created man from nothing, that everyone is created equal and that everyone will give account of his deeds all alone before Allah. For this reason, he added that it would be a great wrong to look for superiority in one’s descent.

The Prophet commanded thus:

All of you are children of Adam, and Adam is from dust. Let some men cease to take pride in others.

The Prophet stated that no criteria except for heedfulness are acceptable: Your descent is nothing to be proud of. Nor does it bring you superiority. O people! All of you are the children of Adam. You are like equal wheat grains in a bowl ... No one has any superiority over anyone else, except in religion and heedfulness. In order to consider someone a wicked person, it suffices that he humiliates other people, is mean with money, bad-tempered and exceeds the limits

Throughout his life, the Prophet advised his people to set aside their ignorant and perverse values and to live by the Quran. In the Quran, racist attitudes are defined as “fanatical rage,” and people’s ambitious attitudes are criticised. A related verse reads:

Those who disbelieve filled their hearts with fanatical rage—the fanatical rage of the Time of Ignorance—and Allah sent down serenity to His Messenger and to the believers, and obliged them to respect the formula of heedfulness which they had most right to and were most entitled to. Allah has knowledge of all things.

(Sura Al Fath, 26)

Muslims who obeyed Allah‘s call in the above verse led their lives in peace and security, both during the Blessed Period of the first community of Islam and in succeeding ages when just administrators reigned.

with inputs from www.harunyahya.com