The Prophet’s wisdom and sensitivity Friday, 06 May 2011 04:09

e must remain cognizant of the fact that both men and women are Allah’s creations. And that Allah would never oppress any of His creatures. He prepares each of His creations to the purpose that he intends for it and bestows upon it the innate abilities needed to carry out that purpose.

Allah has made it of the exclusive qualities of women that they fall pregnant, bear children, and nurse them. Therefore, she is by nature burdened with the care of what the union between a man and a woman brings about, and it is an immense responsibility. Not only is it a heavy responsibility, it is a critical one, not something that can be approached lightly, without the physical, mental, and emotional preparation that Allah has bestowed exclusively upon women.

On this basis, it is only just that Allah would burden the other half of humanity – the men – with the task of fulfilling the needs of those women and protecting them, and that He would bestow upon men the innate physical, mental, and emotional qualities that would allow them to excel in doing what is required of them. Moreover, he would require men to be financially liable for the women under his care, since this is a necessary consequence of the duties he has to carry out. These two elements are, essentially, what the verse is talking about.

It is interesting to point out that the examples given by the commentators who follow the legal approach – things like prophethood, supreme political office, military duty, and carrying out certain religious rites like the call to prayer and congregational worship – are merely consequential of the natural dispensation of men. The reason these duties are suited to men is because men are not otherwise preoccupied with domestic burdens that would prevent them from carrying them out.

Though prophethood, for instance, is an honour of the highest degree, it is by no means the cause of why men are the protectors and maintainers of women. The distinction of prophethood can neither be derived from these duties, nor is it remotely indicative of any general preference of men with regards to women. It is but a fact that all the prophets were men.

Likewise, when we look at religious duties like making the call to prayer, leading the prayers, and giving the Friday sermon, we must acknowledge that these duties were given to men by the decree of Islamic Law. In no way do they necessitate that men are distinguished with every other possible legal ruling. Had Allah instead delegated these religious duties to women, this would not in any way have prevented men from being burdened with their protection and maintenance.

I must reiterate the point that the protection and maintenance given to men over women in no way implies the denial of the woman’s identity, whether in the context of the home or her position in society at large. It is merely a role to be played by men within the family environment so that this important social institution can be properly managed, safeguarded, and upheld. The presence of a manager in a given institution does not negate or diminish the individuality or the rights of the others who share in it or of those who work for it. Islam has clearly defined what the protection and maintenance of women entails for men – the care and protection, the manners and behaviours, and all liabilities associated with it.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) was not an emperor who lorded over his family. When we look carefully at his life, we would find it the most eloquent testimony of what we have stated above – that a man’s protection and maintenance of women in no way entails obstinacy, compulsion, or subjugation. Aishah (May Allah’s mercy upon her) said about her husband: “When he was at home, he was totally involved in housework.”

He was very clement. One of his wives woke up in the middle of the night and discovered that the Prophet (peace be upon him) was not beside her, though it was her night to have him with her. She tells us that she locked the door on him, thinking that he had gone to one of his other wives on her night. When he returned after a short while to find that she had locked him out of the house and asked her to open the door, she confronting him on why he had gone out. He calmly told her that he simply had needed to go to the bathroom.

On many occasions, his wives would argue with each other in his presence. He never got angry when they did. He always solved their problems with wisdom, gentleness, and sensitivity, never with harshness. This shows us what a man’s role as protector and maintainer of women is all about.

On one occasion, his wife Hafsah (May Allah’s mercy upon her) chided her co-wife Safiyyah by calling her “the daughter of a Jew”. This was true, because Safiyyah’s father, Hubayy bin Akhtab, was in fact a Jew who had died without ever accepting Islam. Still, such a comment was meant as a take on Safiyyah’s person, which was only more hurtful as it was coming from her co-wife. So when she heard what Hafsah had said, she started to cry.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) then came in and asked her why she was crying. She said: “Hafsah called me the daughter of a Jew.”

To this the Prophet (peace be upon him) replied: “Verily, you are the daughter of a Prophet, your uncle was also a Prophet, and you are the wife of a Prophet, so what does she have over you to boast about?” He then turned to Hafsah and said: “Fear Allah, O Hafsah.”

In an alternate narration, the Prophet is reported to have turned to Safiyyah and said: “Why didn’t you say: ‘So how can you be better than me? Muhammad is my husband. Aaron is my father, and Moses is my uncle.”

Safiyyah was a descendant of Aaron (peace be upon him). So, when Hafsah insinuated that Safiyyah’s being the daughter of a Jew was something bad, the Prophet (peace be upon him) showed Hafsah another way of looking at it: that Safiyyah was the descendant of Prophet Aaron and that her uncle was Moses, and that her husband was Muhammad (peace be upon them all), so there was no reason for her to be ashamed.

Anyone who would take the man’s status in Islam as the protector and maintainer of women and use it as a pretext to oppress women is committing a crime against Islam. Islam has guaranteed women their rights as individuals, including their right to have and express their own opinions. The Sunnah is full of examples of this.

We have, for instance, where Khawlah bint Thalabah complained to the Prophet (peace be upon him) about her husband who forswore ever again having sex with her by the old pagan custom of claiming her to be like the back of his mother, whereupon the following verse of the Quran was revealed: “Allah has indeed heard the words of the woman who pleads with you concerning her husband and carries her complaint (in prayer) to Allah…” (Surah Al Mujadlah: 1) followed by the verses abolishing that oppressive custom. We can look at the case of Khunsa’, who’s father married her off with her disapproval, so the Prophet (peace be upon him) had her marriage annulled.

In another instance, a young woman complained to Aishah, saying: “My father married me to his brother’s son in order to raise his social status. However, I hate it.” When the Prophet (peace be upon him) heard her complaint, he gave her the option of having the marriage annulled. She said: “O Messenger of Allah! I have accepted what my father has done. However, I wanted to know that women had a choice in the matter.”

Then we have the story of Burayrah and her husband Mughith. Both of them were slaves. When she acquired her freedom, she had the legal right of staying with her husband who was still a slave, or of leaving him. She chose to leave him and he began following after her, crying for her to return to him. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said to her: “If only you would go back to him.”

She asked: “O Messenger of Allah! Are you commanding me?”

He said: “No. I am only pleading on his behalf.”

She replied: “Then I have no use for him.” On another occasion, a woman came to the Prophet (peace be upon him), complaining that men are given the opportunities of military duty, congregational worship, and other things. The Prophet (peace be upon him) let it be known that he was very pleased with her question and with her manner of address.

During the reign of the Caliph Umar bin Al Khattâb, we have the story of a woman who rebuked him while he was on the pulpit about a decree he wished to make. To this, he said publicly: “Umar is mistaken and this woman is correct.”

We can go on citing examples of women’s right to speak their own minds, even before the heads of state, not to mention their husbands. From this, we should be able to keep the status of men as protectors and maintainers of women in the proper perspective.

Concluded

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