Are Americans more humane than we are? Wednesday, 02 March 2011 03:18

I was moved by a position taken by an American family who took care of an Iraqi girl who was wounded by an explosion in Iraq. She was left with her face and skull burned. Due to the seriousness of her condition, the girl was transported to the USA for treatment.

Over the past three years, the child underwent 14 different surgeries, with a series of cosmetic operations to come in the future. Her mother accompanied her for some time but due to the length of the various stages of treatment, the mother returned to her homeland. Meanwhile, the American family took custody of the girl. The family, which stood by her since the beginning of the treatment, even became her legal guardians.

Imagine that. They looked after the poor girl who comes from a foreign land, does not speak English, is a Muslim, and is severely burned. Not only that but they accompanied her to a series of operations and treatments, which have lasted for over three years – so far.

Just because they are Americans does not mean that they are behind the wars and bombs that took place in the girl’s country. The family is not the military nor the government. They are just people of limited income who took on the responsibility out of their own consciences, compassion, and humanity.

Such a scene is not an uncommon one in America. There are those who’ve taken adoption of mentally handicapped children who were abandoned by their families. There are those who adopt children from completely different races and ethnicities, such as South East Asians and Africans. They look at their adopted children with love and compassion that cannot be distinguished from the feelings of biological parents.

These relationships are especially striking bearing in mind that there are biological parents who tire of their children and families and expel their orphans, pushing and fending them off. We’ve also seen step parents abusing their spouse’s children. When one sees people avoiding engagement in community issues and caring for abandoned children, it is only natural to wonder… How are people in America so humane? How has compassion taken root so organically amongst that society without interference, to the degree that it is accepted as something ordinary?

Are they so different from us that a similar pattern of behaviour does not occur in our society? Sure, compassion is present in some of the finest people amongst us but they are so scarce that they dissolve into our community with us unable to grasp them. Is the reason because the US population is made up of millions, so that it is not surprising that out of thousands there are people so strikingly humane?

Or is it that their culture is different? It is a culture that Americans have experienced over the centuries, making them compassionate to animals, too. Not only living with pets but sleeping in their arms and beds, licking their faces and sharing their breath. Perhaps this integration and fusion with living things has heightened Americans’ emotions toward other humans, and increased their empathy for one another. Maybe it helped them discover others’ inner beauty. If they care so deeply about animals then loving fellow humans must not be too difficult.

As Arabs, we harbor the ruggedness of the Sahara and a deep sense of pride toward expressing emotions. These characteristics have imprisoned men’s tears since their childhood, causing them to bear pain and contain it in their hearts. Women bear the responsibility of their gender since childhood, learning that it comes with guilt regardless of whether they are wrong or wronged. They learn that they are the weaker sex, therefore susceptible to being broken and so they must struggle and endure.

That is our environment. It loads a weight onto the shoulders of its members that is too heavy for them to carry. It was able to amputate the feelings of openness and acceptance, and block the flow of human emotions. As such, Arabs are selfish in expressing feelings to their children. They don’t hug or embrace them as if doing so would reveal their vulnerability.

“Taiba” kept her name with the American family. She added gentleness, peace, and love to their lives. With her presence, intelligence, and vitality, she gave them warmth and happiness. Taiba’s experience reassures us that we live in order to leave a mark in the journey of our lives. We’re not born to die within a narrow circle whose edges we cannot afford to break. We’re meant to test the world around us and face its most meaningful challenges.

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